It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

(For those of you who know him - just imagine Mr Sutton saying that...Alan Rickman eat your heart out)

Anywho...eonugh randomness (procrastination is a curse...I'm sure it says that in the Bible somewhere...maybe I paraphrase slightly...maybe I imagine it...FOCUS!!!!!) OK. To explain the title: no I'm not coming over all literary and philosophical, it just completely sums up my day. I had one of the funnest days I've had for a very long time, but also had one of the saddest.

Let's start with the good - which, once again, involves my St John's Cru. Overslept (again) (but this time it was John's fault coz he kept me talking on MSN until...*ahem* quite late) so Lani had to come pick me up, except Leah was visiting, so she was actually driving, and them being them meant they were listening to classical music, so the first thing I heard this morning was Jupiter from The Planets, which was nice (Yes, this is gonna be a blog of firsts - many public declarations of things about me EXCEPT THE ONE WHICH MATTERS THE MOST) (more of which to follow) But to return to the good part of the day...the usual loving being at St Johns-ness aside, it was just nice to be out with my friends after being grounded by my lovely Lani-girl for the good of my health on Thursday. Hungry Horse for lunch (had steak...Mmmm!!) and then Tom Page and Chris decided that it might be fun to play Frisbee...so we did. For two hours outside Founders, and it was so much fun. *Ahem* I mean, it was fun to watch them playing whilst I sat warmly wrapped up not running around so as not to make my asthma even worse than it is at the moment...yeah right, whatever. The only thing that stopped me going all out was the fact that I was wearing my black gypsy skirt, which kinda got in the way...lol. Then I had to go and prepare and serve the Mulled Wine and Mince Pies at the Kings Chamber Orchestra concert at St Johns...which was soooooooo much fun. Except that (in another wierd paradox) it made me all nostalgic for home and the school Carol Concerts at St Peters, but made me sad that I won't be at St Johns for Christmas with all my uni people :( Strange how my mind works sometimes...

And to get to the bad bit. I was going to have THE best Christmas present for my parents EVER (you'd have to either know them or at least understand what they believe to get this next bit), which I've been thinking about for a very long time. On Friday, I FINALLY got round to talking (for that read emailing) Tim and Mark about wanting to get baptised. And when I spoke to Mark this morning, he was really keen, wanting to do it before he leaves, and was really excited about it...until he asked me whether I'd been christened. That's when it all went horribly wrong. Apparently because I have been christened, I can't be baptised by immersion (or actually in any way at all) because it's against the laws of the Anglican church. Great upset amongst many ensued (gotta laugh bout it or I'll start crying again) - Lani flipped out, and Leah wasn't far behind her which was sweet, coz she barely knows me, and Sarah and Jo seemed almost as upset as me...Mark was pretty gutted too, but those are the rules. I just really wanted him and Tim to do it coz they are the ones that have really changed everything for me...and I know Paul will do it like a shot at home in the summer, and obviously everyone can come, but it still won't be the same. Not all of my St Johns friends will be able to come...Lani could, and Sarah, and Jo, and probably Chris and Ben, and maybe the two Toms, and obviously Suz and Sacha, but still...my cell girls won't be able to be there...none of my non-church mates would make the trek to see it at home...it was just one of the worst pieces of news I've been given in a long time...I managed not to cry in front of Mark *smiles proudly* but only just...was crying by the time I got halfway up the aisle to Lani. I didn't realise just how much to me it meant until I found out it can't happen.

Anywho, trying to be philosophical about it all...that is the way of the good old Anglican church...and thats the way it has to be. Rachael and Sarah and James are trying to find any way around it, but I don't want to disrespect Mark - after all, without him, I probably wouldn't be making the decision anyway. I'm so glad I didn't tell Mum & Dad before, coz then I'd have to go throught the telling them it won't be happening...but I was so looking forward to just phoning them up and going "come to my baptism on XX day".

Wow. That was pretty intense *ponders* Have I beaten Sarah's IMMENSE blog from the other day?? I doubt it. Have I shocked a lot of my old friends by writing about what I believe so publicly?? I'd imagine so. Are my St John's Cru SO proud of me for doing all this and for what I at least tried to do?? SO much so it's unbelievable. And are Mum and Dad all emotional after reading this?? Well, lets just say if they were here now, I'd be getting a pat on the shoulder with a "Come on Fred, we'll sort it out" (which, for those of you who know my Dad is the surest fire way to make me cry - he only ever calls me Fred (which, before you ask, is a generic term of endearment and encouragement chez Robins) when I need some cheering up).

I'm not too sad, just dissapointed, but properly comforted by the love of my St Johns Cru and by the FANTASTIC day I had with you all. I love you guys so much.

I'm going to bed now before I get carried away *ponders* Is it slightly too late for that??

Laura

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