Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Diamonds and things

"A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure"

Its not just because I have one permanently attached to my left ring-finger that this quote spoke volumes to me the other day, although it is symbolic of my perfect ending to the dating chapter of my life.

Heat and pressure turn coal into diamond. Extreme heat and pressure. When you think about a diamond like that, it makes you realise that sometimes, the heat and the pressure can turn out something even better than the original material it was working with.

I sometimes wonder if they people applying the pressure would do so if they knew what the end result might be.

Love, etc.

Sunday, January 17, 2010


Because I'm a little bit of a physics nerd, I know a little bit about waves. I spent four hours last night watching them when I should have been dancing with an *extremely* attractive-in-his-tux Drummer at Mrs Daniel's Birthday Party. Officially. A. Geek. But it did make me think. Because I know a little about waves, I could see how they were going to affect the boat. I could tell the big bolshy Thames Clipper that kept accelerating and cutting across to cause as much wash as they could would rock the boat and I might want to hold on to something; the little tugs that pootled past caused nothing more than a gentle bob; the incoming tide merely a gentle up and down motion that, after many years of sailing with my parents and now with The Drummer and his parents, merely left me with a slight swaying sensation that was still present when I got home and went to bed.

As I watched the lights of London drift past, I got to thinking about how life comes in waves. Sometimes you see them coming, and can prepare by holding on. Sometimes the knowledge of how the wave is going to affect you can help you deal with them. Sometimes you just don't see them coming at all because you're too busy.

Last night's too busy ended up with an undignified stumble into The Drummers watchful arms. We might not all be so lucky all the time to have someone to catch us from the waves.

Love, etc.

Friday, January 01, 2010

The best so far...

In many ways, the most horrendous. In the ways that matter, the best so far (compare here and here if you don't believe me!!)

1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before? Got my pink driving licence of DREAMS. Got engaged.

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for 2010? I wrote that I wanted to end 2009 "happy with who I am and content with myself" I'm not overly sure that I achieved that - I'm still definitely not my biggest fan, but I'm getting better. More of the same for 2010 I think.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Profound Admirer had her little baby boy, and The Drummer's work colleagues baby made us both horrendously broody. But all in good time.

4. Did anyone close to you die? Thankfully not.

5. What countries did you visit? Miss Africa & I started the first of many "Girls on Tour" city breaks with a return to Roma :D

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
I genuinely can't think of anything!! I'm looking forward to having a husband and living full-time for real in Egham :)

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

17th January
- getting together with The Drummer
23rd December -
getting engaged to The Drummer

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Going back to work after TPS.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not being able to stay at the Job of Dreams once it got horrendous (although having recently discovered that they've since lost another technician, I don't feel quite as much of a failure)

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Swine Flu. And some stress.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Rediscovering leggings has drastically altered my wardrobe. And I have three different bags of dreams. Good times.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
The Drummer just because. He was my utter rock through everything this year, holding my hand as I learnt various lessons, and always being there. I love him.
My various mums & dads, particularly my second family Chez Holloway

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
Its sad that this answer has been the same for the last three years. Maybe 2010 is the year to finally let this one go. Friends are for seasons, and this one is over.

14. Where did most of your money go?
South West Trains.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Angels & Demons, Harry Potter 6, Cattle Grid, seeing Bill Bailey at the O2, going back to Rome, moving back to Egham :)

16. What songs will always remind you of 2009? Dizzee Rascal "Dance Wiv Me" and Black Eyed Peas "Boom Boom Pow" for the gang, "Omen" by Prodigy and Lady Gaga's "PokerFace" reminding me of Rock Challenge, and Ben Harper "Beloved One" and Snow Patrol "Chasing Cars" for my man

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) Happier or sadder?
Happier. Very very much so :)
b) Thinner or fatter?
Much fatter, sadly. Wii Fit has been ordered - I have a wedding dress to slim down for!!
c) Richer or poorer?
Richer, actually. Hello full-time job!!

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Again, I can safely say that I have no regrets about this year. That is good enough for me.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Its probably going to involve food/wine consumption. How sad!

20. How did you spend Christmas? Missing The Drummer horrendously, but very much enjoying sparkling my ring at anyone who cared (and a lot who didn't) and playing with my new laptop. I've certainly had worse ones!!

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?
Totally and utterly head over heels.

22. What was your favourite TV program?
Same old same old. Apprentice and Strictly. I am a creature of habit! I also introduced The Drummer to The West Wing, and we revived his Star Trek and X-Files collections.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No. If the happiness of my life inspires such vitriol and immaturity in other people's actions, then I should be feeling pity, not hate.

25. What was the best book you read?
Does the entire Penny Vincenzi catalogue count? Or a revival of Patricia Cornwell? I'm not sure they count as "books" really...

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
The Count of Tuscany by Dream Theatre

27. What did you want and get?
The man of my dreams, and a sparkly diamond ring

28. What did you want and not get?
I genuinely can't think of anything! This worries me - clearly I'm not grown up to the point of realising that the things I wanted and didn't get are for my own good, and thus shouldn't be wished for again (yes, this concerns me!)

29. What was your favourite film of this year? Angels & Demons. Without doubt.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
22 and I got a job. Good times.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A certain Boss of Doom falling under a bus. Preferably at my fair hand.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
I have no idea. But The Drummer seems to like it.

33. What kept you sane?
The Godfather. Every year its the same - I mess up, I tell him, he laughs, he makes it better. And my Drummer. I couldn't do it without him.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I'm still Anton's biggest fan, even if he is a bit of a div.

35. What political issue stirred you the most? I could care less about politics. I really could.

36. Who did you miss?
Apart from the vomit-inducing obvious answer of "The Drummer" I think it would have to be Kristen (still) and Ria and Hen when they ran away to Spain.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
It would be impossible to chose between Ed, Rob and my future in-laws.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:
that I'm a lot stronger and a lot more capable than I give myself credit for. Also that a lot of people in the world are out for themselves with no thought for others - I'm too trusting.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
Your eyes shine through me
You are so divine to me
Your heart has a home in mine
We won't have to say a word
With a touch all shall be heard
When I search my heart it's you I find

Despite the job, despite everything that came after it, despite it being officially the worst few months I've ever lived through, I still consider this year to have been the best. I found my soul mate (or at least, he found me and I realised what I was almost missing) and now he wants me to be his wife. As reasons for being happy go, that's one of the best.

Love, etc.