Monday, August 31, 2009

Left Behind

I didn't realise until I got to Rome that this is the first time I've been away and left someone behind. Someone who missed me just as much as I missed them. Someone who checked their phone as much as I checked mine for messages. Someone who's face lit up when they saw me come back through Arrivals.

As Winnie The Pooh once said,

Pooh: this is the best part of the day
Christopher Robin: what part is that?
Pooh: When "you" and "me" become "we"

I think there's a lot to be learnt about love from the wisdom of a little bear

Love, etc.

Sunday, August 23, 2009


Not having grown up enough to drink tea or coffee, I drink an AWFUL lot of hot chocolate. Particularly in the winter when its all snuggly and warm. Its all about the mug...too small, and there's not enough room for the cream. Too big and there's too much to drink. There's nothing better than "exchanging fact" (because I'd never gossip) (*ahem!*) over a big chunky mug cupped in your hands licking the cream off the top (or using a spoon if in polite company...) (rare...)

My room is constantly littered with mugs, including one which is rarely far from my desk that reminds me daily of a certain truth we could all do with bearing in mind sometimes

"He is perfecting me" Phillipians 1v6

Love, etc.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009


On Sunday, The Drummer and I went to the Walking With Dinosaurs Arena Tour. Which was ALL kinds of awesome. It was so good, it distracted me from eyeing up the rigging and tech equipment, which, given how much of a Tech Geek I really am (and the fact it was my first time at the O2 in ALL its glory) makes it a really quite impressive show!!
TFL, in their infinite wisdom, had once again closed the Jubilee Line, so getting there was an utter mission (including my first trip on the drivers...WIERD!) and a boat shuttle across the river from East India docks which now bear little to no resemblance to the docks that funded my school. But still. Nice little trip round Londontown thanks to TFL *ahem*
As we finally arrived, we clocked the (hour long) queue to get the boat back across to the East India docks and balked at the sheer number of people who would then be waiting at East India (and Bank) (and TCR) to get back to Waterloo. The Beautiful Intellectual doesn't do the Tube overly well at the best of (busy) times, so a plan B was clearly necessary. £5 has never been better spent on me than the Thames Clipper ticket from Grenwich to Waterloo Pier. Ohmigosh was it just THE funnest 40 minutes I've ever spent in London.
It was the most perfect (and totally unexpected) ending to an amazing afternoon. I could get to quite like the unexpected...
Love, etc.

Monday, August 10, 2009


At heart, I am a musician. Nothing thrills me more than hearing a piece of music, particularly orchestral music, and losing myself in how it all fits together and picking out all the different parts and melodies.
I was listening to a piece the other day that I'd once played in an orchestra and started to focus on a tune I'd never heard before - I was amazed that I'd managed to not only rehearse it regularly but also perform the piece a number of times and yet there was still more that I hadn't heard. I was reminded of one time where I'd had to leave the rehearsal for some reason, and walking back into the hall, as I crossed the room to get back on the stage, I remember trying to work out which piece they'd moved on to rehearsing because I didn't recognise it. Turned out it was the same piece they'd been playing when I left, but from outside of my little seat in the middle of the Strings section, it sounded so completely different that I didn't know what it was.
Recently, I've come to realise that this is sometimes (often?) true of our lives - sitting there knowing we've done all the rehearsing and preparing and ready to do it, but actually not really seeing the full picture at all, and not knowing what to do when we're confronted with it. Its taken some long struggles, some that are still lingering yet, but I'm finally starting to accept that there is always a reason and there's always something learnt.
"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps,
you understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right, and stopping the leaks
in the roof, and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and you are not surprised.
But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably, and
does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is
building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new
wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards.
You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building
a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself."
The bigger picture is there - just don't miss it in preparing your own little bit, however perfect you think you're making it.
Love, etc.

Tuesday, August 04, 2009


Last Thursday, I spent the day with Bluebelle at the V & A Museum in Londontown. It was hard having such a lovely girly day in the sunshine while the boys were at work, but we managed. While we were there, Bluebelle took LOTS of beautiful photos, mostly arty ones of the prettiness that is the V &A (and our LUNCH!!) but I managed to sneak in to a few of them (not that I like posing for cameras. at all. no no, not me!)

However, perhaps one of my favourite pictures of the day was this one:

Partly in a "I'm so small and there is so much out there that is bigger than me" (in a metaphorical, getting-a-perspective-on-life sense) but mostly because I was so unaware of it. which really made me think. Unaware of Bluebelle's thoughts, unaware of her artistry and skill in setting the picture. I was completely unaware of anything apart from what I was thinking about, and when I saw the picture back on her camera, it made me wonder what else we're completely unaware of and what we're missing.

Its actually quite scary to realise the things you nearly missed - my decision about uni and what I really felt about The Drummer to name but two of the more important ones that spring to mind. Particularly my uni decision, given that pretty much nothing that makes me me these days would be there if I hadn't gotten over myself & looked at the website.

However, the picture is also incredibly apt for the latter of the two, given that that is the view of me that The Drummer was probably most used to before we started going out - as the drummer of our band, he was watching my back (sometimes, it turns out, literally) while my thoughts were miles away elsewhere.

He waited for my thoughts (and for me) to turn round to him. Sometimes in life we're not that lucky...maybe I should start being more careful.

Love, etc.