Just take some time...

One of my favourite times of the day is when I get to sit and go through my Google Reader. That time is my time, even when I'm with The Drummer. Those few minutes are mine to read and think and comment - in the same way writing my blog lets me arrange the thoughts in my own head, reading other blogs gives me new things to think about (and a lot of smiles and laughter at all the cute kiddos)

Some of my favourite blogs are people's tumblrs, as rarely a day goes by without me writing down one or other of the quotes from them in my notebook ready to file away for another day and another blog post (yes, that's the truth...my blogging inspiration is rarely my own. It nearly always comes from other people's quotes *shame*)

One such example was this morning when I read the following

"Living is like tearing through a museum. Not until later do you really start absorbing

what you saw, thinking about it, looking it up in a book and remembering - because

you can't take it all in at once"

Audrey Hepburn

and for some reason (possibly because I'm in the throes of planning my trip back there) I was reminded of the day my fellow goddesses and I went to the Vatican and the Sistine Chapel. Now, for those of you who have never been, the Sistine Chapel is tucked RIGHT inside the Vatican and takes a good ten minutes walk through the galleries to get to it. Now, when you've been standing in a queue for an hour before the place has even opened, there is, admittedly, a certain amount of impatience to just get to the Sistine Chapel already, bypassing all the tourist bus groups who are stopping to take their pictures and generally be slow. Turns out that in our haste to get to our destination, we missed some epicly beautiful tapestries and carvings. We missed the stunning views out over the city and the pristine Papal Gardens below. We had our eyes so firmly on the prize, we weren't really looking around, and certainly weren't stopping to value and enjoy.

How many of us do that with life?? I'm determined that my trip back this year will reflect my new outlook on life...it might take Miss Africa and I an hour to get from the entrance to the Chapel, but we'll have got to the same place in the end AND we'll have seen everything on the way too.

So yeah, just slow down and look around you. Don't miss the little things just because you're going too fast.

Love, etc.
xx

Honestly OK?

So because I'm a girl, when I was feeling a bit down tonight, I called someone who can, without fail, cheer me up. I caught them at a slightly inconvenient moment, and as a result, the conversation was a mere formality while I asked my question (a.k.a the thinly veiled excuse to call), I got an answer (which admittedly didn't really help with cheering me up) and that was that. Five minutes later, got a txt asking if I was ok. Obviously at this point I said no, I wasn't, I was unhappy about leaving & wanted to talk to someone who understood. *Ahem* Or not. Being the girl that I am, of course I txt back saying I was fine. And then got angry & even more upset when that didn't get a response.

Now, you may argue that he's a boy & wouldn't have known that fine means anything but (especially if we take it with its literal translation of Female, Insecure, Neurotic & Emotional) blah blah blah, but the worst thing about it?? I've done it to him so many times that I guess now he looks at it & takes it at face value. I've made it such hard work for him to care about me & try to look after me that I actually drive him a little further away every time I do it.

When I got home, I must've read four or five blogs all with the same message - tell people how you feel, its ok show your emotions, stop bottling it all up...so I'm here to echo that. You can't be unhappy that people seem not to care if you won't let them care about you. The walls you've put up to try & protect you, the things you've made part of your life to try and fulfil you, even the people you gather around you mean nothing if you won't let yourself be loved.

Best of all though - the knowledge that if I hadn't been so stupidly female, he would've called me back to make me smile again. I really should start letting him.

Love, etc.
xx