10 months of unemployment sure does stew your brain cells. A challenge 2 months ago used to consist of rewriting my CV to tie-in with any given job spec three or four times a day. A challenge now means "here's a lighting plan from Debs (who's on maternity leave) can you rig it for me. Oh, and Rock Challenge is on the second day of next term - can you start work on a lighting plan for that. And get the diary dates for Place of the Pigs in your planner because that needs to be rigged at the end of the first week of term" And that was just my first five minutes on my first day (I kid you not...I've never felt more like curling up in a ball and sobbing than I did after that "induction meeting")
Hitting the ground running understates what is looking like a marathon between now and half-term. Now and the summer really, as my diary is full right up until then, culminating in my first "outside broadcast" in the last week of term. I swing between thinking I'm absolutely crazy for thinking I can do this job and being so very very excited every time I open the doors and see *my* theatre.
There have been many panicked messages to The Drummer & frequent questioning of Sound Man & RJ as to whether the wanting to curl up in a ball & cry/crawl into a hole & give up/hibernate will go away, but each and every time I've been met with an overwhelming response. Sometimes (mostly) earthly - a well-timed txt, or our lovely caretaker making LUSH chocolate cake & leaving it in the staff room, or finding the right person on site to answer my question, but at the times I've been panicking worst, God has turned round and just smacked me right back into place. These instances include being introduced to the pastor of a local church who meet in the theatre once a month right at the time I was txting The Drummer wondering whether I'd made a mistake accepting the job, or chatting to the guy I'm taking over from about the anti-social hours, getting upset and changing the topic to just passing the time of day and discovering he's a Christian & then getting an opportunity to chat about juggling the work and going to church. Its made me realise all over again that God won't be giving me more than I can handle (but that, since its me, its more than possible I'm severely underestimating myself)
A day at a time, as I do more things and realise that a) I do know what I'm doing for most of it and b) what I don't know, I can quickly learn, I'm calming down, relaxing slightly, and even today, for the first time, enjoying it.
Maybe by next Easter, I'll have settled down!!
Love, etc.
xx
There have been many panicked messages to The Drummer & frequent questioning of Sound Man & RJ as to whether the wanting to curl up in a ball & cry/crawl into a hole & give up/hibernate will go away, but each and every time I've been met with an overwhelming response. Sometimes (mostly) earthly - a well-timed txt, or our lovely caretaker making LUSH chocolate cake & leaving it in the staff room, or finding the right person on site to answer my question, but at the times I've been panicking worst, God has turned round and just smacked me right back into place. These instances include being introduced to the pastor of a local church who meet in the theatre once a month right at the time I was txting The Drummer wondering whether I'd made a mistake accepting the job, or chatting to the guy I'm taking over from about the anti-social hours, getting upset and changing the topic to just passing the time of day and discovering he's a Christian & then getting an opportunity to chat about juggling the work and going to church. Its made me realise all over again that God won't be giving me more than I can handle (but that, since its me, its more than possible I'm severely underestimating myself)
A day at a time, as I do more things and realise that a) I do know what I'm doing for most of it and b) what I don't know, I can quickly learn, I'm calming down, relaxing slightly, and even today, for the first time, enjoying it.
Maybe by next Easter, I'll have settled down!!
Love, etc.
xx
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