Sunday, December 21, 2008

Fit for Purpose

I knew when I decided to leave that it was going to be hard. I probably slightly underestimated just how upsetting saying goodbye to the kids was, and I definitely underestimated how hard it was going to be walking away from my Sound Desk for the last time.

Some of you might think it odd that I've chosen to leave when its so hard to leave somewhere I'm so clearly attached to, but as someone very wise once said to me, its very easy to fall in to a rut without even realising just because its so comfortable and safe. At St Johns, I have been pastored and mentored in my faith to a place where I can lead others & teach them; I have been welcomed and loved and included in such a way that its only natural that I bring others to join in too; I have been given such amazing Sound training that I've been given my own team to mentor and teach. People have devoted a lot of time to my development, and I am fit for my purpose at St Johns.


Being fit for purpose isn't enough. Becoming fit for purpose is good - people have spent three and a half years teaching me and building me up and loving me until I am fit for purpose, but its not enough. Its not what we're called to be. I don't have time to take up another ministry - I can't create more of myself to give out to help anymore in the church, but if I just stick to what I know and the things I already do, I'll stop learning. I'll stop growing, and that in turn will stop developing the talents and gifts that I've been given. Those of you who know me will know how much I rant about the Parable of the Talents and how unfair it is that the servant gets punished for not doing anything with his talent, but recently I've really understood that concept - its nice to be comfortable and feel safe and know that at the same time you're doing great work for your Church, but that's not what we're called to do. As my rigging hoody says, right across the back,

"I have come that you might have life and have it to the full" John 10v10

so that's what I'm going to do.

Love, etc.

p.s. Aforementioned wise person also once told me how proud he'd be of me if I actually left & I know today that he is. I wouldn't be doing this without his patience and expertise he so willingly shared - RJ, this one's for you.

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