Saturday, October 25, 2008

Falling. Or Just Landing On Your Feet?

Have had the idea for this post floating around my head for a while but hadn't found my hook, despite having the most beautiful quote from one of my favourite books. The Art of Falling is your typical story of self-discovery, happening to fall in love with typically stunning (often Italian) man along the way, but instead of the usual "lalala wouldn't it be nice if a stunning (Italian) man fell in my lap" thoughts**, this time the thing I took away from it was the idea that

"what some of us are most afraid of is letting ourselves be seen in our true colors,"

which is totally and utterly true. How often do we honestly answer the question "how are you?" How often do we let people in to look after us?? How often do we really admit the truth of our feelings?? And what is it stopping us?? Pride?? A wish to not impose our problems on other people?? Worries about rejection and judgement?? Or just fear that once someone has broken through the facade, we won't be able to hide anymore?? The thing that gets me is where do we get that fear from?? I'm slowly discovering that when people care about you, "I'm fine" is hurtful to them...they want to love you and care for you, and you're pushing them away with platitudes. Surely with the people who love you, you don't NEED to hide?? The facade doesn't need to exist, let alone be broken through.

Its scary, *really* scary letting someone through the facade...being used to coping alone (or perhaps, "coping" alone) can become habit forming; the smile can become too permanent; you can begin to believe that everything really is ok. But sooner or later, it breaks, so you might as well be honest now to make sure there's someone to catch you when you finally learn how to fall.

Love, etc.
xx


**Don't get me wrong...it would be totally fine if a stunning man fell in my lap. Italian or otherwise...

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