Saturday, August 23, 2008

One day at a time...

Everyone has their Oz - somewhere where they land, often unexpectedly, where they find their feet and finally feel at home. For some people, its a scenario - a situation where they flourish, becoming truly themselves at the opportunity; for others, its a place where they're able to come alive and establish themselves an identity, emerging from the shadows of others to become an individual.

When I arrived in Egham, nothing was further from my mind than the fact that this was going to be the place where I could be me. Not John & Gill's daughter like I was at home, not Ben's little sister like I was for my entire school life, but me. But three years later, I've forged an identity for myself; I've become my own person. I didn't expect this, I couldn't have predicted it to this extent, and I didn't look for it to happen, but it has, and I'm me. In my Oz.

It does make me wonder though...if I *had* looked for it, expected it, would it still have happened?? If I'd tried to make it happen, would I be genuinely me, genuinely what I was meant to become, or just something that I thought I should be? If I had spent too much time thinking and not just grabbing the opportunities, would I be the same? I think not. I'm not saying be thoughtless; after all, some of things that have shaped me the most have been learnt as a consequence of my slightly heedless nature, but on the flip side, thinking too much can just hold you back and mean that you miss what could potentially be one of best experiences of your life.

I have no idea what my future holds. There are too many unanswered questions at the moment for me to be sure what's going to happen. But that's not going to ruin the now

One day at a time--this is enough.

Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come.

Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering

Love, etc.

p.s. Still waiting for my Wizard though...he's still hiding behind his emerald curtain

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