Stream of Consciousness part 4

Somehow it's the middle of July. I haven't posted my June photo posts yet. Combination of lack of camera cables and lack of time. So much for making time for the important things. You'd think finishing my course would leave me with all the time in the world, but my summer is rapidly disappearing and my writing is taking over my time. Pre-marketing is a combination of huge incentive to keep going and hugely terrifying. Scared of bad reviews. Scared of lots of things at the moment. Almost certainly directly related to lack of sleep. The curtains in our room are too thin, and waking up at 5.30 each day is starting to not be so fun. Still haven't caught up from Glastonbury either, although the mud has finally all gone. I've never seen so much mud in my life. And never been so proud of my rockstar of a husband - alongside his regular band, his 6 degrees of musical separation is now one, yes just ONE, step removed from Bob Marley. Perks of playing with Junior Marvin. And, I guess, that means my 6 degrees is now two. And all of yours who have played with me? Three. Glad to be of service.

Degrees of separation. That's something that has been playing on my mind recently. Times and seasons of life are constantly changing. When someone told me years ago that friendships are for seasons, I knew that was something that I would never settle to overly easily. I don't like drifting from people. The last 12 months have been hard, but it is nice to come out the other side and discover that those who really matter are still around and that those who aren't are still happy doing their thing.

I'm definitely still happy doing my thing which, for the moment, is enough for me too.

Love, etc.

xx

Stream of Consciousness part 3

I have no idea where time goes. The year is literally flying by at the moment - now it's May and I finish in just over a month. In September, getting to this stage seemed impossible and now I'm here.

Strange.

Some people are being strange at the moment...people who have no place commenting on my life and my choices feel the need to weigh in with their opinion; others whom I'd expect it from are absent.

Some very noticeably absent with poor excuse.

Excuses make me mad (which is ironic, because it seems that PGCE is short for "Sorry, I can't come out again, I have too much work to do) but even so. Some people I thought were here for keeps have gone, which makes me sad, but I have had too much success this year to grieve for them for long - they are missing sharing the good stuff because they aren't around.

The year hasn't really shaped up as I expected, but already May is looking far more like I wanted my first year of marriage to be. Can't believe it's already nearly a year. Planning holidays and spa days and fun days. Graduation. Weddings. Engagements. Maybe even babies but not mine. Not for quite some time.

Time. Always a lack of time.

Blog posts running riot in my brain. Books to write. Books to read before being able to write. Books to read just for fun. For an almost-English teacher I don't read enough. Having a Kindle makes life easier, but life shouldn't always be about easy.

Bible study at our new home-group is focusing on life not always being about the easy. New people were scary at first but now are comfortably routine. God currently has my full attention for two hours on a Tuesday evening and two hours on a Sunday morning. Sunday evening if He's lucky. That should probably read "if I am lucky" I need to work on that.

Lots to work on. In one short month, lots more time to work on it all.

Love, etc.

xx

Stream of Consciousness part 2

Time. Never ever enough time to do everything. Occasionally there's enough time to do nearly all of the things I need to do. Sometimes, I get to do the things I want to do too. The Big Blog Photo Project is going quite well. I like to have something to do other than teaching. I'd like to think that I can continue my life outside of teaching, but some days I wonder if such a thing even exists. It certainly teaches you who your friends are. Some new ones have arrived through their understanding of what I'm going through; others appear to have fallen off the face of the earth since I stopped being available 24/7. A few of them I'm sad about; most of them aren't overly missed. It's strange how life goes on while I've put everything on hold. Strange to be planning for the future when I'm living such a day to day existence. As if life isn't busy enough, the job opportunity of dreams has presented itself. Seeking wisdom has been easy; having patience has not been. And continues not to be. I'd like some things to maybe be easy for a while. I know I often make life more difficult for myself than needs be, but even so. I foresee that life may be quite busy between now and Easter. That sounds like ages away but somehow it's February next week. I'm fairly sure I don't need to remember to do anything apart from teach for February. Taking it easy. Apart from writing. That's going to kick off soon. And meetings. Hopefully in town. Every little helps with job applications though, even if they're as dull as they ever were. How many jobs can one person apply for in their lifetime? It must be my turn. Fingers crossed. That's one of the few things I can multi-task with sleep; it's a shame there aren't more.

Love, etc.

xx

Stream of Consciousness

Because there is no time to sit down and devote a blog post to all of these things, join me on a whistle-stop tour through my brain, life and times of late...

Nice having my husband home. Nice is an understatement. Delightfully stress-free on the home-front; I love living with my best friend. He buys me Lego Harry Potter and lends me the car so I don't have to get the train after rehearsals. Driving is a whole new level of fun now I can do it. People need to learn to indicate though. Really. Makes me mad. Which makes me tireder. I am tired. Mentally & physically exhausted. Too tired to be creative where I used to be. My creativity that used to be used here is taken by lesson plans and teaching the little cherubs. And designing lighting plots for the school play (long distance lighting plots in fact, since it turns out that I'm in Weymouth the same weekend as the Technical Rehearsal) Thinking and writing in all my waking moments. Writing here (rare) Writing on another blog project that I have been shamelessly neglecting this for. Writing lessons. Writing presentations. Writing assignments. For someone who likes to write, it's almost too much. Getting published at the end of it would make it all worthwhile. Using contacts is the only way to succeed in this game. RJ laying his hands on obselete R4 programs I need. Old school ties coming in to play (I hope) Sound Man going on tour with Take That. Fun. Having rediscovered the joy of Sunday night pubbage, I'm dragging my social life out the gutter that it has slumped into since September. Dancing in Holborn, iceskating, wedding planning (with friends) Getting righteously indignant on their behalf. Controlling myself for the sake of those around me. Lessons to be learnt all round.

I've seen the Coke advert; holidays are coming. Sanity will soon be restored.

Love, etc.

xx